Is A Chupacabra Kosher?

I was raised Catholic and my wife is Jewish. Whenever we get together with my in-laws for the holidays, I'm always a bit confused in regard to what makes an animal kosher or not.

Ann & Jeff Vandermeer ponder this same question in The Kosher Guide to Imaginary Animals. Ann asked me if I could write a song about it. This is what I came up with.

Click here for a great interview with Ann Vandermeer over at SFF Chat.

Once again, this song is a pay what you want release (even free). It is included on the new Seasons Geekings E.P.

In addition to clicking Buy (and entering your price) on the player above you can also click here for the download:

Is A Chupacabra Kosher?

I hope you enjoy it,
John Anealio
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Is A Chupacabra Kosher
by John Anealio

Is a Sasquatch Kosher?
Could it be served like tenderloin?
Could you eat it with some chocolate coins?
Is a Sasquatch Kosher?
Do you think it tastes like beef?
Would its hair get caught between your teeth?

Is a Chupacabra Kosher?
How come all these goats are dead?
Could you eat it with some challah bread?
Is a Chupacabra Kosher?
Or do you think that its unclean?
I guess I'll settle for some rice and beans.

So how can you tell if an animal is Kosher or unclean?
The Torah gives a list of simple rules
Never eat a bird of prey or any creeping thing
But it's okay if it has cloven hooves

Is an Ouroboros Kosher?
Its a great big giant snake.
Could you eat it with some potato pancakes?
Is an Ouroboros Kosher?
I don't think that it's the case?
To eat it would surely be a big mistake.